The next mouthful vanished with nary a chew. He took a tentative bite and chewed slowly. He bowed his head in silent prayer, thanking God for the food and showing him the way home to Edwina. Now, Fritz faced a lavish meal that his loving wife had prepared. She moved toward him, silent except for the shuffle of her feet over the cement. But those eyes … Opaque blue orbs stared through him as though he didn’t exist. “Hello? Is anyone here? Hello?”Ī petite blonde stepped into view. Must have been years since anyone painted this dump. Tall grass swayed in the cracks of the cement. A sun-faded sign in the side window advertised BYE ONE CHOCKLATE BAR GET 1 FREE. He beat one fist against the steering wheel before climbing out.Ī tumbleweed drifted between the station and the pumps. His car lurched to within a few yards of the pumps, and then coughed to a stop. Their relief turned into anxiety at 3 a.m. Republicans breathed a collective sigh of relief when Trump said he’d stop tweeting. If you see an idea you like, you’re welcome to grab it as a story prompt. Try to eliminate sighs of relief and similar phrases in the following. Isn’t the fist pump more effective than a sigh of relief? If those two pounds represent Evan’s goal to fit into a suit for his wedding, he might exhibit even stronger body language.Įven stepped onto the scale. He could do this.Ī simple smile might work here, but let’s pick something more dramatic.Įvan stepped onto the scale and released a huge exhalation of pent-up breath. He had his life back!Īlthough too much body language can dilute rather than amplify, a situation like this might warrant it. The second example shows a stronger reaction - appropriate for the situation. Ray’s eyes filled with tears, and he collapsed onto the floor of the doctor’s office. Ray might even be incapable of speech for a moment, because his death sentence has been revoked. “So, doctor, you’re telling me all the cancer is gone? I’m gonna live?”Ī sigh of relief could be an understatement here. Two people show relief, but one demonstrates dissatisfaction with the outcome. A third slammed his fist onto the table and mumbled, “Great, another three years with a stupid actor in charge of the country.”
#Another word for running exercises tv#
A better approach would be to set up a scene in a public place and show the reactions of a few people.Įveryone in the bar stared at the TV next to the jukebox as Frank Reynolds of ABC News announced that President Reagan had survived the assassination attempt. The entire USA breathed a sigh of relief when everyone realized that President Reagan had survived the assassination attempt.Įxaggeration has its place in fiction, but not in accounts of factual events. Has Susan been sneaking cigarettes behind his back? Now we know that Ted is the POV character, because we experience what he smells and with a few extra words, we’ve added tension. Ted grabbed Susan and pulled her in for a hug, but the stench of cigarette smoke made him sneeze. Ted grabbed Susan and pulled her in for a crushing embrace. Let’s pick Ted, since he’s the one who breathed the sigh of relief. A better approach is to pick a point-of-view character and show everything through that character’s eyes. Ted can’t know that Susan is embarrassed, and Susan can’t know that Ted is relieved. In addition to including a sigh of relief, the above paragraph illustrates a classic example of head-hopping. Susan blushed with embarrassment when she noticed his concern. However, well-chosen phrases elsewhere can energize your writing. In the midst of an action scene, sentences should be short and concise. Showing Instead of Telling Usually Increases Word Count Sometimes a single word will show relief. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.) If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. Raising one hand in a V-for-victory signal Reaching for or running toward a missing person or pet Squaring shoulders and making a positive remark Raising chin and cupping back of head in handsĬlosing the eyes and tilting the head back Mopping away perspiration that has developed while waitingĭropping to knees and clasping hands together Staggering back a step to lean on something We could show with body language such as: The edited examples represent subtle differences in meaning, and they’re pure tell. Do your protagonists sigh in relief or breathe sighs of relief on every second page? Maybe it’s time for a rewrite.Ī writer might try the following simple changes.